‘What else would they do?,’ said Gaja.
‘And where, on a bench in the park?,’ sighed Dorotka.
She told them it was just a walk. And the guy was so annoying at times that she was at a loss for words. He would preen in front of shop windows and then ask everyone to admire his new sneakers, only to complain that they got stained from the grass. As if it was Dorotka’s fault! Last time, he kept whining all the way through Krzemionki, even though he picked the route himself. When they finally got to Parkowa, she wanted to leave him there and then, right behind the park gate. Just turn on her heel and walk away without so much as a goodbye. All the way to Korona she walked in sulky silence, but when the cowboy asked: ‘Thursday, same time?’ she quickly nodded. As though she wanted to have something to do on the spring evening, at all cost. It was still just a walk though, nothing more.
‘Are you asleep?’ asked Gaja.
‘We don’t need to talk all the time,’ she finally answered, swallowing the last drops of her beer, which was lukewarm by now. ‘We can just walk – in silence.’
‘So nothing turns you on?’ continued Grzesiek. ‘Not even girls with big...’
‘Nope. And boys with big neither.’
‘Have you tried any fetishes? Like wet tops?,’ he asked, settling more comfortably in his chair. ‘Hairy legs... or, better still, armpits. A bushy...’
He stopped, silenced by his wife’s angry look, and took a few sips of his beer to pluck up courage. Immediately, he felt much better. It was a ritual they kept repeating with Gaja (explaining their shared love for beer) for so long that they have earned themselves a nickname. ‘Hoppies.’
‘Maybe you just pick wrong places,’ he carried on, unstoppable. Like Humpty Dumpty. ‘Not everybody gets their kicks in a pink bedroom, in candlelight. Some people prefer an old car, like a Volvo 740. Seemingly unappealing.’
‘That’s an understatement,’ laughed Dorotka, remembering Gaja’s first car.
‘Nothing too exciting, the steering wheel slightly worn, but still in good order,’ Grzesiek went on, more and more excited. ‘The upholstery quite worn out, but the seats...’
‘Use your comprehension skills, for God’s sake,’ exclaimed Gaja. ‘She’s not interested in sex!’
‘Oh. That’s crap.’
Translated by Aleksandra Kamińska